Momastery posted this quote earlier this month: "Don't worry about doing well, just do good." And, boy, do I love doing some good.
What can make me feel not good, though, is parenting. Parenting always makes me feel uncomfortable. Surely other parents handle stubborn little boys with more grace and poise that I have in my pinkie finger. Especially stubborn little boys with little smart mouths and little big-britches attitudes and very little understanding of bosses and rules and etiquette. Sometimes my patience is so thin that even a nap wouldn't help...and a nap fixes Every. Thing.
Regardless, I could contribute to a whole series of "What I say to my kid vs. What I actually mean." I love that Rants from Mommyland did it first. Mine would be something like this:
1)Go ask your dad
You've asked me 203 times and I've given you the same answer about why a dog has fur. Go drive someone else crazy for a change.
2)Did you wash your hands?
I know you ate bubble gum off of the theater floor and are now inoculated against every disease known to mankind but I still don't want those grimy hands at the table.
3)Would you like to earn a sticker for accomplishing that?
I'm sick and tired of repeating myself. I will totally bribe you, if you totally do it.
4) Are we going to watch another episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates?
Good. TV time. I haven't finished reading this chapter yet...
5) Let's leave. It's time for school! Holy Scha-moley!
This is the 74th time I've been late for work. I don't care how many bumps can found in the driveway Get.In.The.Car or I. Swear. To. Pete. 1....2....